Enjoying spring

To unwind a bit and clear my head of a thesis-related problem that's been bugging me for days now, I spent some time this afternoon walking around Albert Park which is very close to the university. The flowers are now in bloom and we have been experiencing fantastic weather since last week. The abundance of parks is one thing that I appreciate here in New Zealand. In Japan, there are plenty of parks, too, and I remember that in the spring, the parks there are teeming with people enjoying the "hanami" or the spring picnics under the cherry blossom trees. Spring is very beautiful in Japan because of the cherry blossoms. The New Zealand spring has its own charm, nevertheless. I haven't been to other parks this spring except Albert Park but for sure, there are many other beautiful things to see.

Overcoming fear

Only a few people knew this, not even my family, but I used to have a fear of walking on bridges and overpasses. It was only recently that I was able to overcome it. It was not really the structures that terrified me but walking on them while there were cars moving below. I would feel somewhat dizzy and disoriented, and highly nervous at the same time, as I have the feeling that the cars would run over me any time. It really takes me a lot of guts to walk on these types of structures. I remember experiencing an anxiety attack once when I was about to use the overpass in one of the shopping complexes in my country. I have just finished my shopping in a department store and needed to cross the street using the overpass to be able to go to the shops in the other side of the complex. It took me quite a while to cross. I was shaking. I really felt terrified. I waited until there were many people crossing to feel safe.

It was more than a month ago when I started attending mass in another church. I happen to like the songs being played in this church and its more simple atmosphere compared to that in the city cathedral. The mass time of 9:30 in the morning also suits my schedule more than the late morning schedule of 11 in the cathedral. The mid-morning mass in this church also happens to be the children's mass and I really find it enjoyable to watch kids entering the church with the priest in the opening march, as well as offering their gifts during the offertory. I also have had the wonderful opportunity to witness a baptism and at least two ceremonies for first communicants.

During the first three masses that I attended, I would walk more than one kilometer from my flat to reach the church. I didn't know yet the bus routes to that location so instead of taking a chance of being brought to the wrong destination, I just walked. There were a couple of times when the weather was not really good and it was really uncomfortable to walk. Part of the route was passing a bridge of about 300 meters. The first time I passed this bridge, I nearly froze, because it was not only high, I could see cars moving speedily below. But I had a mass to catch so what I did was walked fast and not to mind the moving cars. On my second Sunday, I also passed that bridge but unlike before, I tried to pace slowly and the experience wasn't that bad. On my next mass, I tried to enjoy the view. Then, today, when I walked again, I realised the tension is all gone. I have finally managed to conquer my fear. And I did not walk far this time because I found out that all the buses passing at the bus stop near my flat would pass that road. The bus would stop right before the bridge so I still would have the opportunity of walking on it and enjoying the experience.

Come to think of it, it was a church that served as an instrument to help me to overcome that fear. His ways are indeed mysterious! I also realised that as long as we have the courage to change the negative things in our life, we will succeed. We just have to believe in ourselves that anything is possible--with His guidance and unconditional love.

An erudite's advice

Yesterday, I attended a conference about career opportunities and the keynote speaker, a Chinese professor from the City University of Hongkong, offered a highly enlightening and engaging talk on "Developing an outstanding academic career over the life course." A part of his talk which really struck me is when he discussed the traits that an academician or a researcher should possess--using the teachings of Confucius as a guide. And these are universal guidelines that I believe apply to all, regardless of what your field is: Explore and understand. If you think you already know the reason, think that it's not the end of it. Don't think it is good enough. Turn it into a passion. Enjoy what you do. Be a child again.

I hope I'd be able to posses these traits in time.

A tap on my shoulder

This morning, when I walked to our communal kitchen here in the building to cook, I met a woman who happens to be from my country. At first, I was not sure, so I talked to her in English to say "hi" and upon noticing her accent, I switched to my native tongue. Lo and behold, we are indeed countrymates. She is the new cleaner, replacing the young Chinese girl whom I often meet in the kitchen and who would always ask what I am cooking and if I have any classes that day. She also happens to come from the same province where I was born--her city next to my town.

We were able to chat for a while while she was busy mopping the floor and I was peeling potatoes. Farrah told me she arrived only last April. Her husband works as an auto cad engineer. Just like other new migrants here, she's having difficulty finding a job that is commensurate to her qualifications, so she accepted a cleaning job even if it is physically demanding. She was actually a teacher in Thailand. She plans to enroll in child education and apply as a teacher later.

I felt somewhat uncomfortable telling Farrah that I am a student. When she asked me if I am working, the more I felt uneasy to say that my tuition fees and living expenses are being paid for by my scholarship, but I added that the it is not much so I also need to work part-time to save for trips back home (which is true). After exchanging numbers, she bid me goodbye as she has finished cleaning the kitchen and needed to move to the lounge area.

People like me who are able to come here as a student--and with a scholarship to support us--are really lucky. And that's one thing that I've been telling myself whenever I miss home or whenever I am unsure if I made the right decision of leaving home to embark on a new challenge. My encounter with Farrah this morning is God's reminder to me that I should count my blessings, and I hope other scholars here would realise it, too.

Blessings

I had a nice chat with one of my closest friends this morning. It's been a while since we last talked so I thought of calling her. During my despedida lunch last May, she was not able to make it due to health reasons. It was only my other close friend who was able to come. I consider them both as two of my best buddies. Our friendship can be traced as far back as college. We are actually block mates and over the years, we were able to keep the friendship. We have managed to keep in touch amid the changing of jobs, addresses and various events in our respective lives. Once in a while, we would meet up for lunch to catch up, which is always a joy. In a few months, I'd be home for Christmas and one of the things I really look forward to is seeing them again. True friends are hard to find and I'm really grateful to have found these two.

A glorious week

Been days since I last made a post. I visited the doctor last Monday and she said there's nothing to worry about. She performed a physical examination and did not find anything unusual. Thank God! Indeed, I panicked that weekend. Very thankful of the result but jus the same, I plan of getting a second opinion just to make sure.

Wednesday was truly an enjoyable time. My friends and I went sightseeing. Went to an island with a volcano. We had lots of fun on this walking trip...just laughing, chatting, singing, and eating along the way. Sharing bits and pieces of ourselves. Posing for a picture. Cracking jokes. It was a long walk, almost two hours to reach the peak. But it was worth it. From the peak, one can see the entire city. The walk back to the harbor was so much fun as well. We never ran out of stories to tell one another even when we're on the ferry back to the city. We capped our day with a late lunch--as usual, Chinese food!

Random thoughts

Watched a free music concert today at the School of Music. I always love listening to classical pieces. It's so uplifting. The students who performed today were really good. Some of them played the piano, others the violin. And all of them, except for one, are Asians.

The coordinator of the organisation who called me up yesterday regarding a possible volunteer assignment did not call back. But the good thing is, my supervisor offered me a job. It's a short-term one but at least, I'd be paid for it. And I did not apply, it's like it was given to me! And since the offer came from my supervisor, it becomes more precious. It gives me a lot of confidence which I really need these days. Indeed, we just have to wait and continue to hang on to our faith. God always knows the right time for each of us.

I know I should be happy because of this but I can't help but to feel worried. On Monday, I will see a doctor to consult her regarding some pain. I was scheduled to see her today but she got sick so the appointment was moved to Monday. I hope the pain means nothing. I am really worried.