Christmas stress

I've been sick for several days now. It all started four days before Christmas. My throat began to hurt and I've been sneezing repeatedly that I already felt dizzy from being my head shaken many times. Fortunately, I've managed to survive Christmas day despite the fuzz. Prior to that, there were so many things to do like cleaning my father's house, preparing food for Christmas day, shopping for groceries, running errands, and attending to my father's requests every now and then. My two sisters have their own households to manage and since there's no one to look after my father's household, I would often be the one to stay with him and my auntie at Christmas and take charge of the preparations. When my mother was alive, she would take care of everything. Besides, both my father and auntie (my mother's youngest sister who is with us for more than 30 years now) are already old. We alway tell them to hire a household help but they refused to do so, reasoning out that they can do all the chores by themselves. But the condition of the house clearly shows that a helper is needed. It's full of dust and so disorganised. It's a house full of trash! He and my aunt also have this habit of keeping objects (like unused boxes, old perfume bottles, newspapers and magazines) which they no longer need. I spent hours dusting the shelves (which triggered my asthma) and throwing away trash. My father and aunt are also fond of raising animals like chicken and duck that take much of their energy and time as well. We have long told them to stop doing it but they said this little diversion of them brings them happiness so we just let them do what they want.

I really feel stressed spending Christmas in my father's home. But it's something that I also feel like doing each year. Partly because of obligation and partly because I feel it's the least that I can do for all the loving and the caring that they have done for me and my siblings through these years.

On Holiday Mode

Am back in my home country. Arrived here last Thursday evening. Prior to my departure from Auckland, as I packed my stuff, I can't help but to reminisce the past weeks and months, particularly my adjustment period in New Zealand. So many things have happened. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions. I have experienced intense sadness and longing as well as excitement and happiness. It's difficult to leave far from home, from familiar places and faces, from your support system. Leaving behind your comfort zone to tread a new territory, making new friends, adjusting to new cultures, getting used again to the pressures of academic life, trying out your skills in a foreign country where discrimination exists...all of these are bit and pieces of a whole new set of life that I have experienced and will continue to experience when I go back to New Zealand in late January. But I am happy that I am more adjusted now to my life there. It was not easy in the beginning but through prayers, patience and the help of family and friends (old and new), I was able to breeze through the entire process with grace. Truly, God is good. I look forward to this holiday season with much optimism. So many good things have happened this year to me, my family and my close friends. So many wonderful things to thank God for. My eldest sister got married to a wonderful man. My father and auntie are doing well. My sister is happily enjoying her single life. My best friend is gradually reaping the fruits of labor with her call center business. And her sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl after several attempts to get pregnant. My close friend since college survived a major operation and is now recovering well. My other close friend got her dream house from her loving husband. I got the scholarship to study for a doctorate in New Zealand which is a very beautiful place. I am fortunate to have a very competent supervisor who is very supportive of me. I have found new friends in New Zealand and renewed ties with old ones whom I haven't seen for a long time. I have said my peace with a loved one whom I have hurt in the past. I have begun to make friends with people who have unintentionally hurt me before. Life has been good to me and I look forward to the coming year with so much hope. I feel at peace. Life is full uncertainties but I entrust God with tomorrow.