Overcoming fear

Only a few people knew this, not even my family, but I used to have a fear of walking on bridges and overpasses. It was only recently that I was able to overcome it. It was not really the structures that terrified me but walking on them while there were cars moving below. I would feel somewhat dizzy and disoriented, and highly nervous at the same time, as I have the feeling that the cars would run over me any time. It really takes me a lot of guts to walk on these types of structures. I remember experiencing an anxiety attack once when I was about to use the overpass in one of the shopping complexes in my country. I have just finished my shopping in a department store and needed to cross the street using the overpass to be able to go to the shops in the other side of the complex. It took me quite a while to cross. I was shaking. I really felt terrified. I waited until there were many people crossing to feel safe.

It was more than a month ago when I started attending mass in another church. I happen to like the songs being played in this church and its more simple atmosphere compared to that in the city cathedral. The mass time of 9:30 in the morning also suits my schedule more than the late morning schedule of 11 in the cathedral. The mid-morning mass in this church also happens to be the children's mass and I really find it enjoyable to watch kids entering the church with the priest in the opening march, as well as offering their gifts during the offertory. I also have had the wonderful opportunity to witness a baptism and at least two ceremonies for first communicants.

During the first three masses that I attended, I would walk more than one kilometer from my flat to reach the church. I didn't know yet the bus routes to that location so instead of taking a chance of being brought to the wrong destination, I just walked. There were a couple of times when the weather was not really good and it was really uncomfortable to walk. Part of the route was passing a bridge of about 300 meters. The first time I passed this bridge, I nearly froze, because it was not only high, I could see cars moving speedily below. But I had a mass to catch so what I did was walked fast and not to mind the moving cars. On my second Sunday, I also passed that bridge but unlike before, I tried to pace slowly and the experience wasn't that bad. On my next mass, I tried to enjoy the view. Then, today, when I walked again, I realised the tension is all gone. I have finally managed to conquer my fear. And I did not walk far this time because I found out that all the buses passing at the bus stop near my flat would pass that road. The bus would stop right before the bridge so I still would have the opportunity of walking on it and enjoying the experience.

Come to think of it, it was a church that served as an instrument to help me to overcome that fear. His ways are indeed mysterious! I also realised that as long as we have the courage to change the negative things in our life, we will succeed. We just have to believe in ourselves that anything is possible--with His guidance and unconditional love.